Junior Senior

Start of a new you...

Wow, its been so long since I've done this livejournal thing, but I thought that I might get started back into it. Not like an everyday type thing but you know. Good thing to vent every now and then right?

So school started just about 2 weeks ago, things are going well. I still hate OCC, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I was just thinking about it mabye 2 minutes ago....Air Force, Marines, Navy, Army? I just can't take this kind of life anymore. Shitty job, shitty school, shitty life. I need a new...everything.

No girlfriend....still, whatever. I'm done looking around now. Im just focusing on getting my studies done and trying to get a new damn car. Still drivin' that shitty tempo, but it really is on its last leg now. Everythings going to shit. 

Perkeys comming home soon so theres a sigh of relief there. Lets hope that goes well. 
I gotta start makin more money man.
Wait till I get my money right.
  • Current Music
    Kanye West - Flashing Lights
Junior Senior

......

So yea, things are shitty like allways. Right now my computer is hooked up into my big screen tv in my living room beacuse my monitor is all fucked up soo yea.

Im still pretty much depressed as allways. I've been going to the gym, hanging out with people alot and playing drop in hockey at Troy. But still whenever I think about it, it really pains me to just think about it. It sucks so bad. And I don't know how much more its gonna last for. Ughh, fuccckkk love, its suppose to be for suckers. Right. What the fuck, i havent gone to class in the past 2 days beacuse I don't see why I should get up and start a day thats gonna end up in pain. Word up.

Just cycle with the green and World Of Warcraft....
  • Current Music
    Settle For Satin - Alkaline Trio
Junior Senior

(no subject)

My life if brilliant, my love is pure
I saw an angel of that im sure
She smiled to me on the subway, she was with another man.
But I wont lose any sleep on that beacuse I have a plan.

Your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful its true
I saw your face in a crowded place and I dont know what to do
Cuz I'll never be with you.

Yea she caught my eye, as I walked on by
She could see from my face that I was..fucking high
I dont think that I'll see her again
But we shared a moment, that will last till the end

Your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful its true
I was your face in a crowede place and I dont know what to do
Cuz I'll never be with you.

Your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful its true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up I should be with you
But its time to face the truth
I'll never be with you....

2/12

I wish that I could turn back time and do things diffrently
Then it wouldnt have come to this. He would still be my best friend
and you would still be with me.

It still hurts to know that this might be it. That I don't have any more of a chance with you.
I just wish it could be that monday morning and I could feel what we felt at that exact moment.
Just the two of us.
I guess I still have that small slice of hope left, and it's really all I got left.

I hate feeling this way, it was so painfull for me the other night. You and I just played it off like we didnt care. No real emotions, and if its going to be like that forever, I can't live with that.

Your beautiful, its true
  • Current Music
    James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Heartagram

Whats the worst that I could say, things are better if I stay?

Its like I'm back in fucking middle school again, shit has been all fucked up since perkey got home. Things happened, and its all pinned on me. Why is it that I always have to be the goddamn bad guy in the end. I didnt do anything wrong, I was acting on my emotions and It seemed that the exact same thing was happening on the other side of the table...get my drift. He pins me as a "pussy" and a liar and all I did was just say what was said before.
Why is it that I can't just be happy for once. Things would have been so much better if it wasnt so blown out of fucking proportion. Im not a bad guy, Im not a stalker and all I wanted to do was make myself and someone else happy. How is it that one night can fuck up a years worth of work. Then shoved in your face time and time again like putting salt in the wound.
I just wish that they all would understand how much pain I've been in this past week. I've never felt this bad possibly in my whole life. It was going so well then all of a sudden just...boom, shit fits galore. I wish I could just get one more shot, one chance to try and make things right so that she doesn't think that Im some kind of fucking freak. Then again, I pretty much fuck up everything that I start. I just wanted a chance, and It seems that the only reason that she doesn't want to give it a shot is the influence of others. Shes a great person and I think that I could make things work, I just don't think that perkey knows how much she meant to me. Or how much Ive been destroyed this past week over this.
I just want a shot, a chance. All I have is respect for her and I woudn't do anything to hurt her and it's like everyone is looking right past me to make assumptions. Assuming that it's just another fling, another fluke, an attempt to make it another name in the phone book. Its not like that At all, I care too much for her to do a thing like that and noone will even listen to me. I know I have a past and I know that it dosen't help me out the slightest but if they can all just see through it I know it could work.
God since then its like the only person I haven't been kind to is myself.
I have noone to vent to, to try and get some advice from, so I stare at these four walls and a black control pad. I've just been immersing myself In music, movies and games. That and snowboarding. Snowboarding is my only way to escape the pain of this joke of a situation.
Seems like someone dug a hole for me and is forcing me to jump in so they can bury me. So now all I have it hope, it's all I got left to hang on to, I just wish it could work out in the end.

2/12

Just give it one more chance, I swear it will be worth every second.
  • Current Music
    My Chemical Romance - Cemetery Drive
Junior Senior

Long time no see....

Yo everybooodddyyyy....

Long time no talk, how ya'll been

IM DOING SHITTY!

Work is shit, working at gamestop right now. its suchhhh a shitty job. so boring today it wasnt funny.

School, Im going to OCC now. The Auburn Hills Campus. For all you ladies out there, keep an eye out for me ya herrrr....lol

Hockey, Im working with a team right now. Bantams. I help coach and just regualarly beat the living shit out of them for my own personal enjoyment. Good times a go go.

Refing. Still same ol' same. Lots of yelling, loud noises. Punching coaches. Good stuff.

Perkey if you all didnt know. My best friend, will be leaving for the marines in two weeks. Im going to be having an open house also on the 9th. Big party in his honor. Bring friends, Girls bring your good looking friends. YOur GIRL friends in particular.

But all in all, thats about it.

See ya'll later.

~Stan
  • Current Music
    Louis XIV - God Killed The Queen
Junior Senior

(no subject)

So I got 311 Tickets. Im Still in florida.

wont be comming home till Sunday Night. Saturday morning.

Ughhh.

but still

THE 18th IS GONNA BE the sHIZZZNITE!
Junior Senior

(no subject)

Once there was a girl named Jamie, she was in 6th grade at Seqouia middle school. It was the day before outdoor school. She couldn't wait, she was so excited, she was packing practically everything in her room for the trip.
"Dont forget to pack your hairbrush, toothbrush, tooth paste, and toilet paper!!!" her mom yelled after her.
"Yeah, whatever mom" she shot back.
Getting on the bus the next day, the boy she liked asked if she would sit next to him. Of course she said yes and the whole ride there was wonderful. She found out that he had feelings for her too!
Then it was time to get off the bus, sadly for Jamie and her new boyfriend. They kissed eachother today and went on the grand tour of Camp Bloomfield. She was so excited she had gotten her best friends cabbin and everything. Cabbin ..1. She picked a camp name "butterfly" and her best friend, Jessica, picked the name "Moon"
That night the counselor announced that they had to pick a bathroom buddy (at this time the bathrooms were outside) incase they had to go in the middle of the night.
It was now 9:30, lights out.
Jamie had bunked with Jessica because they were bathroom buddies and since they were so close she couldn't get to sleep because Jessica's faint snoring kept her awake.
Then, she dozed off.
All of the sudden, her eyes poped open, it was still deadly silent in the cabbin and dark outside, only the moonlight shining through the window in a stream accross her bead.
She had to go to the bathroom so she jumped off the top bunk to wake up Jessica, only, Jessica wasn't there.
Figuring Jessica had to go to, and didn't want to wake Jamie, she went to the bathroom alone.
When she came back into the cabbin, she noticed Jessica was still gone...
Strange, but Jamie was sure she was fine.
The next time she awoke, it was broad day light and everyone was awake, and the counselor was crying.
She wouldn't tell anyone why and then Timber, the instructor of Camp Bloomfield, came in.
He announced that everyone must evacuate without looking back, in a single file line. If he saw anyone talking or look back he would call their parents and have them sent home immediately.
Wondering what all the fuss was about, they obeyed, walking in a single file line out the front door.
Jamie was just to tempted and waited for an opportunity to look back.
No one was looking, and she WAS at the end of the line so she glanced back and couldn't believe what she had just seen.
There, beyond all the police, investigators, and FBI agents. Beyond all the caution tape and worried faces...was Jessica.
She had a rope tied around her neck, and she was suspended from the tree. She was skinned clean and bloody. The only way Jamie recignized her was by her eyes, which were the only things that WERN'T skinned or completely covered in blood. There was a bloody knife laying on the ground beside Jessica had a note pinned onto her foot. It wasn't opened so she guessed the cops didn't read it yet for evidence of some kind.
She burst into tears at the sight of her slaughtered best friend and when the counselors asked what was wrong she simply replied "Where is Jessica, I want jessica!"
The counselor stood up and continued walking, now at a faster pace hard for Jamie and her cabbin mates to keep up with.

----------------one week later---------------------------

Jamie turned on the news to see if the weather was going to be warm or not. But instead, she saw a picture of Jessica as the reporter explained the tragic accident to the public on national television. Here is the reporters story:
"Just a week ago, here at Camp Bloomfiled, a young 12 year old child, Jessica Sonders, was murdered here. 'Taken straight out of her bed' Says the cabbin counselor. Her parents are devistated and are now filing a lawsuit against Camp Bloomfield. She was found cut up and hung by a rope on a tree with a disturbing note that read, "She was good."
As if this was not devistating enough, a week later, a man was spotted on Sleepy Hollow, a ground on the camp premisis. He was seen with a chunk of what looked like human flesh. "He was chewing it up savegly" says Locust AKA kevin, a naturalist here at camp bloomfield.
A devistating story by Alice Haffer, back to you Ted with the weather."

Jamie flicked off the TV, mortified at what she had just learned of her best friend. 2 weeks later, Jamie was found on her bed, at exactly 3:01 A.M. dead. She was slaughtered just as her best friend was.

*************************************************
Bad things happen...when you go to the bathroom alone.


Repost this within the next 2 minutes in Jessica and Jamie's memory. If you carelessly don't, both of the dead, slaughtered, girls will come to your bed and slaughter you in your sleep. Just like themselves...
Junior Senior

(no subject)

Everybody with your fist raised high...

Let me hear your battle cry...




Things is all fucked up, its rediculos. Im losing touch with my friends. I dont understand whats wrong with me. I cant tell you an exact reason for it. Its like alot of problems, melted into one gigantic problem.




And I stand aside or step aside...

On the frontline...




With all this shit thats going on, I really cant wait untill hockey season starts. And darrell and alex get their place at MSU. I need to indulge myself in hockey and other people. Meet new people. Anyone at this point in time will do. It might make things better for my life.



Fucked things up with her, dont know what Im gonna do now.

I GOT IT! Drink it down.

Later fellas'.
  • Current Music
    Pillar - Frontline
Junior Senior

(no subject)

WHO WANTS TO GO TO FUCKING 311 CONCERT ON THE 17th OF AUGUST....

HIT ME UP ON THE LOW...cuz mike jones is bout to blow

NO SERIOUSLY HIT UP MY AIM...SNIPERX876

QUICKLY BEACUSE THEY ARE GOING QUICK AND I WANT TO GO WITH SOMEONE!?!?!?!