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Stan T.

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Start of a new you... [19 Sep 2007|12:34am]
[ mood | confused ]

Wow, its been so long since I've done this livejournal thing, but I thought that I might get started back into it. Not like an everyday type thing but you know. Good thing to vent every now and then right?

So school started just about 2 weeks ago, things are going well. I still hate OCC, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I was just thinking about it mabye 2 minutes ago....Air Force, Marines, Navy, Army? I just can't take this kind of life anymore. Shitty job, shitty school, shitty life. I need a new...everything.

No girlfriend....still, whatever. I'm done looking around now. Im just focusing on getting my studies done and trying to get a new damn car. Still drivin' that shitty tempo, but it really is on its last leg now. Everythings going to shit. 

Perkeys comming home soon so theres a sigh of relief there. Lets hope that goes well. 
I gotta start makin more money man.
Wait till I get my money right.

1 Spoke Up - Talk

...... [07 Mar 2006|12:40pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

So yea, things are shitty like allways. Right now my computer is hooked up into my big screen tv in my living room beacuse my monitor is all fucked up soo yea.

Im still pretty much depressed as allways. I've been going to the gym, hanging out with people alot and playing drop in hockey at Troy. But still whenever I think about it, it really pains me to just think about it. It sucks so bad. And I don't know how much more its gonna last for. Ughh, fuccckkk love, its suppose to be for suckers. Right. What the fuck, i havent gone to class in the past 2 days beacuse I don't see why I should get up and start a day thats gonna end up in pain. Word up.

Just cycle with the green and World Of Warcraft....

3 Spoke Up - Talk

[26 Feb 2006|08:25pm]
[ mood | numb ]

My life if brilliant, my love is pure
I saw an angel of that im sure
She smiled to me on the subway, she was with another man.
But I wont lose any sleep on that beacuse I have a plan.

Your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful its true
I saw your face in a crowded place and I dont know what to do
Cuz I'll never be with you.

Yea she caught my eye, as I walked on by
She could see from my face that I was..fucking high
I dont think that I'll see her again
But we shared a moment, that will last till the end

Your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful its true
I was your face in a crowede place and I dont know what to do
Cuz I'll never be with you.

Your beautiful, your beautiful, your beautiful its true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up I should be with you
But its time to face the truth
I'll never be with you....


I wish that I could turn back time and do things diffrently
Then it wouldnt have come to this. He would still be my best friend
and you would still be with me.

It still hurts to know that this might be it. That I don't have any more of a chance with you.
I just wish it could be that monday morning and I could feel what we felt at that exact moment.
Just the two of us.
I guess I still have that small slice of hope left, and it's really all I got left.

I hate feeling this way, it was so painfull for me the other night. You and I just played it off like we didnt care. No real emotions, and if its going to be like that forever, I can't live with that.

Your beautiful, its true

3 Spoke Up - Talk

Whats the worst that I could say, things are better if I stay? [21 Feb 2006|12:51am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Its like I'm back in fucking middle school again, shit has been all fucked up since perkey got home. Things happened, and its all pinned on me. Why is it that I always have to be the goddamn bad guy in the end. I didnt do anything wrong, I was acting on my emotions and It seemed that the exact same thing was happening on the other side of the table...get my drift. He pins me as a "pussy" and a liar and all I did was just say what was said before.
Why is it that I can't just be happy for once. Things would have been so much better if it wasnt so blown out of fucking proportion. Im not a bad guy, Im not a stalker and all I wanted to do was make myself and someone else happy. How is it that one night can fuck up a years worth of work. Then shoved in your face time and time again like putting salt in the wound.
I just wish that they all would understand how much pain I've been in this past week. I've never felt this bad possibly in my whole life. It was going so well then all of a sudden just...boom, shit fits galore. I wish I could just get one more shot, one chance to try and make things right so that she doesn't think that Im some kind of fucking freak. Then again, I pretty much fuck up everything that I start. I just wanted a chance, and It seems that the only reason that she doesn't want to give it a shot is the influence of others. Shes a great person and I think that I could make things work, I just don't think that perkey knows how much she meant to me. Or how much Ive been destroyed this past week over this.
I just want a shot, a chance. All I have is respect for her and I woudn't do anything to hurt her and it's like everyone is looking right past me to make assumptions. Assuming that it's just another fling, another fluke, an attempt to make it another name in the phone book. Its not like that At all, I care too much for her to do a thing like that and noone will even listen to me. I know I have a past and I know that it dosen't help me out the slightest but if they can all just see through it I know it could work.
God since then its like the only person I haven't been kind to is myself.
I have noone to vent to, to try and get some advice from, so I stare at these four walls and a black control pad. I've just been immersing myself In music, movies and games. That and snowboarding. Snowboarding is my only way to escape the pain of this joke of a situation.
Seems like someone dug a hole for me and is forcing me to jump in so they can bury me. So now all I have it hope, it's all I got left to hang on to, I just wish it could work out in the end.


Just give it one more chance, I swear it will be worth every second.

6 Spoke Up - Talk

Long time no see.... [01 Nov 2005|12:20am]
[ mood | blank ]

Yo everybooodddyyyy....

Long time no talk, how ya'll been


Work is shit, working at gamestop right now. its suchhhh a shitty job. so boring today it wasnt funny.

School, Im going to OCC now. The Auburn Hills Campus. For all you ladies out there, keep an eye out for me ya herrrr....lol

Hockey, Im working with a team right now. Bantams. I help coach and just regualarly beat the living shit out of them for my own personal enjoyment. Good times a go go.

Refing. Still same ol' same. Lots of yelling, loud noises. Punching coaches. Good stuff.

Perkey if you all didnt know. My best friend, will be leaving for the marines in two weeks. Im going to be having an open house also on the 9th. Big party in his honor. Bring friends, Girls bring your good looking friends. YOur GIRL friends in particular.

But all in all, thats about it.

See ya'll later.


5 Spoke Up - Talk

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